Saturday, May 14, 2011

Original Due Date

Today is May 14, 2011. It is my original due date with our twins. I am having really mixed feelings about this. While I know that I could not be pregnant with this little one if I hadn't lost Hannah and Liam, it is still so early in my pregnancy. If I knew that this baby would be our take home baby, I would still be sad, and I would still miss Hannah and Liam terribly, but I think I would be better able to cope. If I lose this little one (please God don't let that happen), there is no reason for losing our twins or our last little one.

Mostly, I am hopeful about the outcome of this pregnancy, but I am so cautious as well. Every little twinge scares the hell out of me. I think I will be alternating between excited and worried for the whole pregnancy, but I am hoping that as I start to pass other milestones the worry will ease a little bit. For now, I am trying to take it one day at a time, one check-up at a time, one milestone at a time. As some very wise women I know say, today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

- J

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